Be There

When the cheering fades and the crowds disappear

We’re less than a month away from the New York City Marathon. For months, your partner, friend, or family member hasn’t just been running - they’ve been hyper-fixated on achieving one thing: running 26.2 miles.

Morning runs before family obligations, social meals replaced with almost religious fueling schedules, trips and celebrations planned around training, early to bed on Friday nights in preparation for long runs on Saturday, weekends lost to mileage and recovery.

As a loving partner, friend, or family member, there may have been moments when you have felt abandoned or less of a priority, and that can be hard. The countdown clock hasn’t just been ticking for them - it’s been ticking for you too.

Marathon Sunday is pure magic. It’s a takeover across the five boroughs that’s impossible to ignore. It’s the best day to be in NYC, as the city transforms into a 26.2-mile block party and I can’t wait! It’s the only marathon I’ve both spectated and ran where I get major FOMO in both positions.

When I’m spectating, I want to be running the streets to lap up the cheers and encouragement from the million spectators (I always lose my voice). When I’m running, I want to join the dance party at some of the poppin’ sound systems - Fort Greene, the Bronx, and Harlem are always a vibe. It’s 26.2 miles of super-charged exhilaration … and then it’s over.

Here’s the part we don’t talk about enough: the post-race blues are very real. For days - sometimes weeks - after crossing the finish line, your runner can feel lost. It happens to the best of us. That daily structure is gone and the mission has ended. That singular purpose that guided them for months is kaput and suddenly life feels empty. After 16 - 18 weeks of training and the big party, it’s a given that they will likely feel emotionally and physically burned out. They’ll also likely feel a little bit of guilt for having not been around - which can only add to their distress.

So here’s my plea to friends and family: Don’t wait for them to ask for help. Proactively reach out and plan to do something together. Ideally it doesn’t involve running - maybe a spa day, a trip to a museum or a show, a celebratory meal, or for me, I really relish the gift of spending quality time with loved ones. No set plan, just hanging out. Chatting, chewing the fat, laughing and seeing where the day takes us. Your pro-active reach out is a reminder to your runner that you were cheering them on, even when they weren’t around.

And please don’t resent the months that they were gone. They weren’t ghosting you; they were working on unlocking a better version of themself. And when people do that, the ripple effect benefits us all.

The marathon they’ve trained for may be an ending, but in truth, their journey to self-realization and fulfillment has just begun. You never know, by bearing witness, it may be the inspiration you needed to go in search of yours.

Thank you for reading Run Your Life. The moments in the miles are temporary - the meanings are for life.